How to Find and Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor: Steps to Mentorship Once You Discover the Mentor

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    A Comprehensive Guide to Finding and Approaching a Mentor, and How to Build a Successful Mentorship Relationship

    Both the mentor and the mentee can greatly benefit from the mentoring relationship. Personal and professional development can benefit from a mentor’s guidance and support. Finding a good mentor and developing a strong mentoring relationship, however, takes time and thought. How to find a mentor and develop a productive working relationship is the subject of this article.

    Step 1: Identify Your Mentor Criteria

    Defining your expectations for a mentor is the first step in the mentor search process. Think about the traits and knowledge you’re looking for in a mentor, such as relevant experience, shared values, and the ability to effectively communicate with you. When you know what you’re looking for in a mentor, you can start actively seeking one out.

    Step 2: Research Potential Mentors

    Networking events, online discussion groups, and social media are just a few of the many places where prospective mentors can be located. Find a mentor that fits your criteria and has relevant experience in your field by doing some research. You can search for people on LinkedIn based on their industry, job title, and location, making it a useful tool for finding potential mentors.

    Step 3: Reach Out to Your Potential Mentor

    The next step, after finding prospective mentors, is to contact them. Introduce yourself and tell them why you want to work with them as a mentor. Describe in as few words as possible what you need from the mentorship and why you think they can help you get there.

    Step 4: Schedule an Initial Meeting

    Set up a preliminary meeting with your prospective mentor to talk about what you hope to get out of the relationship and what they can offer you if they agree to work with you. You can use this meeting to inquire about your prospective mentor’s experience and philosophy on mentoring.

    Step 5: Establish Mentorship Expectations

    It is important to set expectations and boundaries once a mentoring relationship has been established. The mentorship’s goals, preferred methods of communication, and frequency of meetings should all be talked over. It is important for both parties in a mentoring relationship to have a clear understanding of what is expected of them from the start.

    Step 6: Be Open to Feedback and Learning

    Mentoring is a two-way street on both ends. It’s the mentee’s responsibility to listen to their mentor’s advice and take what they have to teach them to heart. Listen carefully to what they have to say, and then do what you can to put their suggestions into practice.

    Step 7: Build a Lasting Relationship

    Mentoring is about more than just getting what you want out of your relationship with your mentor, though. It’s important to keep in touch with your mentor after the formal mentoring relationship has ended so that you can continue to benefit from their wisdom and experience.

    Finding a mentor and approaching them to ask them to guide you can be an intimidating process, but it is well worth the effort. The three-step process outlined here will help you find a mentor who fits your needs, communicate your goals for the mentorship to them, and develop a strong, mutually beneficial relationship with your mentor. Always keep in mind that finding the right mentor is a process that can result in a lifetime of development and learning.

    Real-Life Example:

    Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, is known for her mentorship of Adam Grant, a Wharton professor and best-selling author. Sandberg and Grant first met when Grant was a PhD student at Harvard and Sandberg was a vice president at Google.

    Sandberg saw potential in Grant and took him under her wing, providing him with career advice, introductions to key industry contacts, and guidance on how to succeed in the tech industry. She also challenged Grant to think big and push himself outside of his comfort zone.

    Thanks to Sandberg’s mentorship, Grant was able to secure a job at Google and eventually became a professor at Wharton. Sandberg continued to mentor Grant, providing him with valuable insights and feedback on his work.

    Their mentorship relationship has been mutually beneficial, with Sandberg learning from Grant as well. In fact, Sandberg wrote the foreword for one of Grant’s best-selling books, “Give and Take,” in which she describes Grant as “one of the most original and innovative thinkers of his generation.”

    This mentorship relationship is a great example of how a successful mentor can provide guidance, support, and opportunities for their mentee to grow and succeed, while also benefiting from the relationship themselves.

    Fictional Example:

    Michelle is a recent college graduate who aspired to work in the fashion industry. However, she had little experience and was struggling to break into the industry. She decided to attend a fashion industry event where she met Sarah, a successful fashion designer.

    Michelle was impressed with Sarah’s work and decided to approach her about the possibility of a mentorship. Sarah agreed to meet with Michelle, and they hit it off right away. Sarah was impressed with Michelle’s passion and drive, and saw potential in her.

    Over the next few months, Sarah mentored Michelle, providing her with valuable industry insights, career advice, and introductions to key industry contacts. Sarah also gave Michelle constructive feedback on her work, and challenged her to think outside the box and be creative.

    Thanks to Sarah’s guidance, Michelle landed an internship at a top fashion company, and eventually secured a full-time job in the industry. She stayed in touch with Sarah even after the mentorship ended, and continued to seek her advice and guidance as she progressed in her career.

    This mentorship relationship was successful because Michelle approached Sarah with a clear idea of what she wanted to achieve, and Sarah saw potential in Michelle and was willing to invest time and energy into mentoring her. Michelle was open to feedback and willing to learn from Sarah, which allowed her to grow and succeed in the industry.

    Overall, successful mentorship relationships are built on mutual trust, respect, and a shared vision for growth and development. It takes effort and commitment from both parties to make it work, but the rewards can be immense.


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    Martin Rowinski, Boardsi CEO
    Martin Rowinski, Boardsi CEO
    Martin Rowinski is a global technology pioneer, executive recruitment expert, and international speaker with 25 years of c-level experience. He is the co-founder and CEO of Boardsi, a SAAS-based executive recruitment firm. Rowinski created and spearheaded their proprietary software that allows companies to effortlessly search for the most qualified Boards of Directors and Boards of Advisors from a pool of thousands of top executives across the U.S. and internationally. This software also allows executives to find board positions in highly sought-after companies in a simple, easy, and streamlined process. Boardsi specializes in helping companies build executive boards quicker, easier, and more efficiently in order to achieve exponential growth. Boardsi has also been an industry leader in curating a national private network for c-level executives. Rowinski is the author of the highly-acclaimed book, The Corporate Matchmaker, and has been featured on Forbes, Entrepreneur, FastCompany, NASDAQ, Bloomberg, CEO Today and The Marquis Who's Who (2022 - 2023).